Monday, May 5, 2008

Why I'll Never Get a Job as Someone's Escort.

My Patapon army marches forward single file towards the home of our rivals at Zigoton castle.  I already feel a sense of accomplishment because even if I am playing The World Ends with You, I want to finish Patapon - this game had me excited up until this year's Game Developers Conference (I still don't know why it fizzed out, but it did). 

 So in my head I'm thinking this will end in glory, with my army pimp slapping a number of Zigoton heads.  I mean, how could we lose.  It wasn't some huge crab or another creature like that, so this should be easy.

And then it didn't.  It was an escort mission where I had to guide  catapult up into their castle.
I hate escort missions.

I've always dreaded any game with this type of mechanic because I can never win.  I remember getting completely road blocked by them in Rogue Squadron (N64 or Gamecube, I think) because TIE fighters would swoop in and blow up all my rebel friends.   

I just don't think I have what it takes to be anyone's escort.  I get caught up in the moment, forget that I'm protecting someone, and before you know it, BLAM.  Game over.  

Maybe I'm not terrible at them.  Maybe they are just flawed experiences in each game I've played them in.  But whatever the case may be, I won't be escorting anyone anywhere anytime soon.  I just suck at it.

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